Saints We Should Remember – Saint Vilantane

The following is a short story entry in the first annual Amore Tank Your Hearts Writers Contest for YC118! You might also enjoy Unsatisfied, for a light-hearted romantic tale.

Checking a HighSec static opening from a wormhole he was exploring, Erutor realized he was in Amarr space. Stopping by a local station for refreshment, and to offload some plunder, he overheard the following program:

Welcome, children, to today’s episode of Saints We Should Remember! Today, let’s spend a few moments to remember Saint Velintane.

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tl;dr – Blew up a Legion in my Stratios, but pilot self-destructed, so no explosion. Sadface. Poetic, rather than analytic style.

She is tantalizingly beautiful, her solid but graceful silhouette framed by the stars as she fondles a priceless relic perched upon a standing stone monument. Her touch dances lightly over the artifact’s rough surface, pitted by years of exposure. I approach quietly, knowing her tendency to dash away at the slightest provocation. As I draw closer, I have time to allow my eyes to caress the smooth lines of her outstretched arms, and the delicate curves of her gold-clad torso sparkling in the starlight. I admire the smoothness of her gait as she continues her solitary dance.

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EVE is Dying! Ain’t it great?

EVE is Dying.

Prior to the swell of alpaca clones, we heard this frequently, and I’m sure that when the surge passes, and player count drops a bit (and it will), the bittervets will once again pick up the mantra.

I consider myself a bit of an EVE toddler now. Not that I know much, I’m just not cute any more, and can’t claim to be a “cute little newbro.”

Sorta like this guy…

The Minmatar Toddler of Notre Dame

I’m also no vet, and can’t claim any special knowledge or perspective, but I am here to join the bittervets in proclaiming that Eve is Dying, and also to say we need to celebrate this more.

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A tip for the EVE Online new New Player Experience

At one point near the conclusion of the new EVE Online New Player Experience, you will find your ship destroyed by a large explosion. They’ll warn you that this is about to happen…

Tip #0

Don’t over-fit your ships (like I did) – fit what they suggest: no more, and no less.

Tip #1

When they warn you of the impending explosion, save your position in space by creating a bookmark (Ctrl-B). Or, right click on your ship’s wreck and save it’s position before you’re podded.

After you are back in operation, return to the bookmark you saved, and take a minute to collect loot (meh – mostly metal scraps) and salvage the ships (yours, and the NPC wrecks) in the area with the salvager module you’ll receive.

You’ll make 375,000 ISK or more, which is nice seed money to help you get on the road again after your loss.


The following is an entry in the Pod and Planet Fiction Contest YC118. A short story in the “Eight Thousand Suns in New Eden” category. Enjoy!



Sodden tissues slumped in snotty heaps around the ratty green upholstery, slowly drying into fibrous concrete. Blood soaked the carpet, and the splatters were already dry upon the wall-screen, distorting the idyllic scene it displayed. The room-bots, despite dexterous application of solvents, would have to escalate this one for operator attention before another guest could take up residence. The current occupant kicked through a pile of empty bottles, finally revealing the missing Minima heel, and slipped it on her delicate foot.

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EVE is unironically Literally Unplayable

I’m struggling with lag/disconnect/d-sync issues in which my client appears to lose its connection to the server entirely. The client remains responsive, and FPS stay steady, but it is as if my actions never reach the server, or the responses from the server never reach my client. Sometimes I’ll reconnect, but the client and server are always out of sync until I dock or jump, and usually until I restart the client and launcher entirely. There’s no consistent user action that precedes a loss of connectivity.

I’ve worked with GM Mechanic (very responsive and helpful!) to sort through “every” possible client-side setting and issue without finding anything offering significant improvement.

  • cleared system/character caches
  • adjusted graphics settings
  • enabled/disabled download everything
  • switched from ISP DNS to OpenDNS
  • verified there are no GPU/CPU/RAM/Handle/Disk/Network bottlenecks on my local machine
  • removed my antivirus (and put it back on, duh)
  • installed on another computer
  • replaced my router

CCP support indicates network diag doesn’t show obvious indication the problem is there, and there’s nothing on the server side to explain an issue. He suggested there may be something between my location and theirs that is causing the issue. There’s some small evidence that the problem may be character-specific, but I only have one character I play on a regular basis, so I can’t rule that in or out yet.

I’ve heard from several individuals that they are having similar issues, and significantly worse the past 4-6 weeks than ever before.

So, my question for you is – if you are having similar difficulties, are you willing to share the traceroute information from the launcher’s network diagnostics? (E menu next to the – X in the upper right hand corner of the browser), with your first few (local network and first ISP hop) routes removed to protect your privacy? I’m trying to see if perhaps there’s a problem at a regional router in common to several of us seeing the same issues.

If I can find a common thread, then I’ll work with individuals who are not having issues to isolate any key differences in the route, so I can work via ISPs and/or CCP to see about chasing down a solution.

If you are willing to help, let’s open a conversation. You can reach me at ErutorOfEve via google’s mail service, on reddit /u/erutor, or leave a comment on this post or a private message via the contact page.

Several similar threads – Possibly related to laptops, possibly related to alt-tabbing